If you are like most people, you feel busy, stressed, and overworked frequently. You also find yourself at social events that you don’t really want to be at, but feel some obligation to be there. At work, you find yourself interrupted by coworkers or given assignments that you don’t see the point of and would rather not be doing. Your friends, family and significant other may make requests of you that you really don’t think are fair, but you do them anyway to avoid an argument or to prevent disappointing them. At the end of the day, you are tired, frustrated, and irritated with your job and the people in your life. If this is you, it is time for a big change in your life. One word can transform your life and put you on a path to a happier, simpler existence – NO.
Whether at work or at home, you need to learn to say NO when people make unreasonable requests. You may think you are being nice by ignoring your own desires and conforming to others’ expectiations of you, but understand that you aren’t. Think about it. When you do what you boss, spouse, or friend wants, regardless of your own wants, how do you feel? Generous? Happy? Or somewhat pissed off? See, what happens when you ignore your own opinions over and over is you begin to feel irratable. This irritibility spills over into your work and social life. Even if you can mask your frustration, your health will still be affected negatively. In the short term, you may help your company, family, or friends by sacrificing your needs; in the long-run, however, you care damaging yourself and your ability to be a good worker, a great partner, or a valuable friend.
You need to start saying NO. At first, you will feel guilty. At first, people used to you saying YES will be shocked to here NO. They may complain or try to make you feel guilty. But here’s the thing – if you stay strong and keep expressing your interests and desires, people will begin to respect you and won’t make as many unreasonable demands of you.
Now here is the exciting part. You can still say YES to people. But now you will be saying YES because you have chosen to comply, not because you feel you have to. And when you feel you are in complete control of your choices, you will feel empowered, confident, and happy. You’ll be the strong man or woman who is generous sometimes but always protective of yourself as well. And by eliminated all the unnecessary things you were doing before, you’ll have more time and energy for the things that truly matter to you and the people you care about.
All this can be yours if you start using one word – NO. If you need help starting, I strongly suggest you get The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It — And Mean It and Stop People-pleasing Forever. Following its simple principles can make you a master of NO and help you improve your life this year.
To your daily growth!