Recently on Quora, I shared an answer to an interesting question: What is the best dating advice you have ever been given? My answer has already received almost 300,000 views, and has generated some great conversations (and some controversy), so I decided to share it with my readers here on Improve My Life This Year.
The Best Dating Advice I Ever Received
My best friend scribbled it on a napkin in my college bar 8 years ago.
S = L + (RV x MV)
That’s the best dating advice I ever received. The basic idea is your success in dating is one part luck and another part your perceived value.
Perceived value is a function of how much actual value you generate and how well you market that value.
So for the mathematically inclined,
Success = Luck + (real value x the marketing you do), or simply
S = L + (RV x MV)
That’s pretty much it. Punch in the numbers and that’s how your dating experiences will go.
Want more luck? Take more shots (not tequila shots, though who knows, that might work too). No, the shots we are talking about are attempts. If something has a 1 in a 100 chance of occurring, then statistically, you are about 50 shots away from getting it. Ask people out. Get rejected. Ask more out. Don’t hide your intentions. If you like someone, own it and show it. All other variables held constant, you chances of dating success go up, up, up as long you get out of your own head and just talk to the girl.
Want more real value? Then find ways to become more valuable as a person. Learn how to be witty. To make great conversation. Learn where the coolest restaurants are in town. Learn a musical instrument. Get physically fit. Groom well. Develop your own style. Be honest. These things and hundreds of others as well are avenues to build your value.
Want to market your value? Don’t hide your light under the proverbial bushel. If you have a funny joke, tell it! If you know a great restaurant, invite your friends. If you play guitar, play it outside the school cafeteria on a Tuesday afternoon just because you feel like it. If you are good at presentations, volunteer to make the big sales pitch at work. Whatever it is – don’t be afraid to show off the value that you’ve worked hard to build.
That’s about it. If you follow S = L + (RV x MV), you’ll achieve dating success! Everyone has a weakest variable – find yours and work on it!
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